| The Education Minute: Even If We Weep | | Print | |
| Monday, 05 January 2009 16:55 | |
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A mother cried while talking to me today about her five year old daughter and the negative attitude she possesses about life, school and her peers. She wanted to know what she could do to help her daughter be more kind and caring, energetic and eager to learn. She worried about her daughter presently and about the young woman her daughter would become. She was torn and confused not knowing how her little girl developed such a vulgar attitude because at home there is discipline, rules and structure.
After speaking with this mother, I later bumped into a teacher who shared with me a story about a young student she knew.The student was 18 years old and had recently died of a heroin overdose. The teacher was baffled and shocked that a young high school student, who seemed to love life and enjoy school, could become involved in drugs and then die so suddenly. Stories like the above, unfortunately, are common and frequent. Parents tear themselves apart wondering how their innocent sons and daughters get caught up in drugs, bad behavior, and disrespectful attitudes. Parents fight to understand where they went wrong in the upbringing of their children. Sometimes the answer is simple to see and other times the answer is not clear at all. Talking to men and women who have been parents for decades, they respond to this lack of understanding by saying, “some children are just strong enough to resist the pressure and some are not.” This does not mean that some children are weak and others are strong however.Perhaps a young girl’s best friend has just moved away, then her cat dies and then her parents divorce, this young child may feel that her life is falling apart and if at that time, someone offers her marijuana or alcohol she is more likely to experiment just to feel as if she has a bit of control over what is happening in her life.As parents, we try very hard to be on top of all the issues in our children’s lives. We want to know who their friends are and whom they are talking to on the telephone phone. We ask them how their day was and they tell us some things while leaving out others, sometimes intentionally and other times it’s unintentional. We often notice that when we send them to bed they remember their day in full and wish to tell us everything and that’s when we learn the details that make our eyebrows rise. As tired as we may be after a long exhausting day of work, when our brow rises, we have to make further inquiry. I believe that talking over issues and giving our children a way out of difficult situations helps them to be more prepared should they face pressure to get involved in negative acts. As I told the mother this morning, when she cried about her daughter and as the adults who have been parents for 25 years or more have told me, it is not the case always that parents are at fault when children stray from what they have been taught. Sometimes, the influence from peers, the media etc. simply becomes too overwhelming for young minds. As parents, we must continue the fight to save our children. When the answers do not seem clear to us, even if we weep, we must tap into the wisdom that we have that allows us to be the parents and our sons and daughters the children.
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